Here, just for you dear faithful, is another excerpt of my book...
Truth be told, I was, well I wouldn't say terrified of going home. Let's just say I wasn't as excited as one might expect. This surprised and confounded me. Why on earth would anyone not be eager and ready to get back to familiar surroundings—especially with a view like ours?
Perhaps it was because I was going home to a familiar place but in a stranger's body. I knew how to live in the hospital. I knew what to expect and what my limitations were. Life was predictable.
I could get around. I could do most of the things I needed to do for myself. I had my little room where everything had its place and was in its place. I had my routine. I could manage—even master—this small world where I knew how to function. And in here I was an overachiever! I was successful. Compared to the rest of the patients I was highly functioning. And I didn't have to explain myself. Everyone knew why I was there and what could be expected of me. And no one watched me, wondering or judging.
But out there? That was another matter entirely. Out there people did things that I could only dream—or reminisce—about. Out there I was an anomaly, a circus side-show character. Out there I would have it rubbed in my face every day that I now had limitations and shortcomings, that there were oh so many things that I could not do. And there would be many more disappointments. I would be a fish out of water and I was afraid I'd asphyxiate.